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WOW! Your story signified a similar childhood that I had, not to mention...growing up in Oklahoma!. I too remember that innocence until the tender age of 10 when I realized my being gay. I remember looking up the word "homosexual" and came to the conclusion that that is what I am (or at least a part of me) the being "Black" came later during my teen years when I realized that the city is divided into groups aka segregation but no overt "in your face" racism. It was only when I came to San Francisco in 1980 that for the 1st time, I was called the "N" word by another gay man. Now that was a shocker to me! Being gay, and around other gays gave me a false illusion that we were in this all together, but that was quickly shattered as I noticed that some of the practices of Gay bars where Blacks went to (or at least tried to) had to have multiple ID's etc. to get into a bar. We've all come a long way and hopefully with each new generation, this "race" thing will be a relic of the past.
Thank You, I got a lot out of your story. Two points had great sinfiginants for; one "I never saw myself as Black", The statement clearly reflect a need for the educational system of this country to acknowledge the contribution of the "great Holocaust of Slavery" that took place in this country. The African diaspora which remained as result of Slavery has "I believe" never addressed the issue of healing, and the history that is taught in public schools donot reflect the great contribution, or the agency used by the Slaves to survive such a horror, but the ancestors did survive and that is why we are present..but need to know our history as African Americans...it is directly related to self awareness.... Second, the statement you made "Some people of color may not always protect themselves during sex as they feel no value in what has systematiclly devalved them" Amen...part of prevention is SELF-AWARENESS...My question is; Are the high prevalance levels after 30 years of great efforts to HIV/AIDS education in the African American Communities a sign of "self choice health "Suicide' or the systematic "Genocide" contining to operate among us all? people have a NEED to feel good about themselves and to be able to communicate their feelings. Thank for sharing I got a lot out of your wisdom...Helena B.
Marvelously written story thank you for creating/writing/being open/releasing and sharing.
Robert T. Jenkins
For, probably most, Black Americans there is no one definitive moment when our historical and contemporarily collective condition as cogs in the machinery of the American way of life is defined. For Aundaray Guess "The concept of race had yet to come make a visit." Being a raisin in this vast pot of white American rice is a simile for the lives of so many Black Americans who are currently realizing many of the dreams that Martin Luther King, Jr. and many of his predecessors had for the sons and daughters of America, including the children of the African Diaspora. Black Americans who are unaware of their "place" in this great nation that was built by the blood, tears,sweat, and hard labor of Black Americans and other cultural, ethnic, and racial groups from the American stew will always walk down paths of shockingly real discovery. Values are your own--no matter what the system or society that you live in dictates. If you do not choose to value yourself, no one else will choose to value you. In the fight against HIV, I concur with you when you state "In this fight to reduce HIV the subject of race has to be included in any treatment..." You also state that "People can not be color blind." You make a perceptual analysis of what it means to you when you feel that people don't see your color and all that it signifies to you. I don't concur with your opinion on your color. Qualities that can't be seen--your gayness, political affiliation, your truest beliefs, etc. have absolutely everthing and nothing to do with your Black Americaness.
August 3, 2011