Click on each person to learn:
More about his background
How he first found out he had HIV
How he persevered through his diagnosis
Names have been changed. Models used for illustrative purposes only.
Jay’s Background
“I was…unemployed, with no car, living with anxiety and depression and, to top it off, I was homeless. I’m an Army veteran, so I decided to go to Veterans Affairs (VA) to see if I could get help.
The first thing I had to do was an initial physical. The doctor mentioned I had to get blood work…for HIV. I said it was OK, but it did make me nervous. I told him that I knew I had engaged in high-risk sexual behavior…”
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“It didn’t get real to me until after I met with the VA nurse. She said my status wasn’t a death sentence and the medications being made were keeping people alive for years.
She was very sweet, and I know she was trying to be comforting, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was a 33-year-old, poor, emotionally unstable, gay, Latino, unemployed, veteran, homeless, HIV-positive man. Can life throw me a bone at least?”
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“It was at this time that I started blogging. So far, I’ve only told three people in my life about my status.
At the moment, I am undetectable. I have two jobs, I bought a new car and I have my own place. I've kicked my ass getting all of what I have, but I am proud of it. I am still working on my anxiety and depression, but I feel way better than a year ago.”
Choose another storyBilly’s Background
“At the time, my wife and I had an open marriage.
I had my penis pierced. A few days later, I met a female and we had unprotected [condomless] sex. I didn’t think anything about it, honestly. After a few weeks I felt tired and sluggish.
I figured I was getting the flu. I had sex with my wife twice over the next three days. Then, on the third day, it was like a ton of bricks were dumped on me.”
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“I got home, and we cried about it. We also made her an appointment for [a few] days later.
The next day, I’m at work, and I get a phone call from my doctor. She said I needed to come in for her to talk to me. Dread took over. I knew why she called instead of the nurse. I show up, and she lowers the boom.
I can’t really describe the feeling. Numb maybe? Surreal? I have to give them two more vials of blood for the RNA test. Then I get home and tell my wife.”
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“Fast-forward to today: My wife is HIV negative. If you haven’t kept up with the breaking medical advancements, drug therapies and research studies, being diagnosed with HIV in 2016 is scary, at least at first.
We’ve done a great job at disease management, but we, as a society, have failed in the education aspect.
Only after I contracted HIV did I see the amount of behind-the-scenes work going into cure research.”
Choose another storyHoward’s Background
“My best sexual experiences were when I was younger—during and following my years in the military. Having sex without condoms was a thrill for me. For all of those years, I celebrated sex without limits.
Following my years in the military, I got married. In 2000, my wife died of ovarian cancer.
My life was forever changed. I laughed and cried, thinking, Here I am, alone 30 years later. I thought, What is this thing called life?”
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“My life changed again just two years later in 2002 when I was diagnosed with HIV.
I started to tell myself that I was not young anymore. I was not wanted anymore. I was not in charge anymore. The doors did not open for me anymore.
Laughter was gone from my life. I did not feel like I would have friends anymore. The good times were gone. This was my fate.”
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“As the shock of my diagnosis went away, things changed.
I decided that I had to open and close doors for myself. I am an older man with HIV infection. I do not judge myself because of my diagnosis. I accept myself as a complete person.
My life is no different than any other person in regard to the pains of growing old: colds, flu, pneumonia, taking meds, doctor visits, or diet. HIV is one of the many challenges I face.”
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