How does your garden grow? A whopping 67% think pubes are best when trimmed and groomed. Read all the dirty data—on disclosure, dating and doin’ the nasty—from POZ’s first-ever sex survey. Some answers are “duh!”; some will get your panties in a knot. The takeaway messages: HIV can’t keep a good girl from going down, and there is such a thing as sexual healing. Next time around, we’d like more women, less rejection and more naughty notes to the editor!

Sexual Preference

Lesbian 1%
The Pole & The Hole (Bi) 7%
Straight 18%
Gay 74%


19 and under 4%
20-29 16%
30-39 38%
40-49 33%
50-59 8%
60 and over 1%

100% of you are safe all the time?

Reality check: 40% of you break out the latex every time you have anal/vaginal sex. And as for the rest of you…
Most times 24%
Sometimes 24%
Never 12%

Less is More?

71% of you are having less sex since your diagnosis, but 31% of you say your sex life is more fulfilling now. 19% of you lucky dogs are having more sex with a more fulfilling sex life.

49% say that when you’re having sex, HIV is like a fly nagging away. 35% say it’s the furthest thing from your mind. 16% say it’s like a Looney Tunes anvil, about to fall.

5% of you are saving yourselves for marriage. After meeting a cutie, the rest of you do the deed (vaginally or anally):
After 5 or more dates 12%
After 2 to 4 dates 33%
ASAP, but I show a li’l respect 35%
ASAP, but I think of them as easy 15%

You break out the latex for:
Anal sex (insertive) 70%
Anal sex (receptive) 65%
Vaginal sex (insertive) 19%
Vaginal sex (receptive) 16%

Getting head 17%
Giving head 15%

Let’s get to the bottom of this
15% of you would rather have sex with someone negative.
39% of you would rather have sex with another positive person.
40% of you will get down with anyone regardless of serostatus.
6% prefer the hand or “self-love” over sex with a partner.

Biting the bullet
69% of you tell sex partners that you’re positive before things get real hot and heavy (pre-smooching and heavy petting).
8% break the news right before the money shot.
4% of you wait until after the deed is done (now ya tell me!).
19% don’t even bother to tell your sex partners your name.

The pink slip
After someone has nixed a night of sex because of your status, you feel:
Undesirable 45%
Unphased 34%
Angry 12%
Surprised 9%

It’s a Crap Shoot

When and if you disclose, potential lovers shun you:
Sometimes 32%
Rarely 24%
Pretty damn often 23%
I don’t disclose 13%
Always 8%

Post-disclosure, the most common reaction from someone who’s negative is:

A caring heart-to-heart 40%
Silent shock and awe 30%
See ya later 22%
A cranial meltdown 4%
What’s HIV? 4%

The best thing someone can do with a free hand during sex is:

Guide your hand to the hot spot they most want touched 35%
Grab another part of your body 34%
Slap your ass 12%
Touch themselves 10%
Run it through your hair 9%

Your Scores

How many partners have you had in the past year?
52% said 1–5 people
too many to count 17%
6–10 11%
11–20 10%
None 10%


Tranny (FTM) 1%
Tranny (MTF) 1%
Other 2%
Dame 12%
Gent 84%

Your preferred sexual mood is:

Wherever, however, whenever 29%
Romantic, gazing into each other’s eyes 25%
Sensual, glistening hot oil in the candlelight 21%
Splintering the headboard, knocking plaster off the wall 20%
All by myself, with or without the aid of porn 5%

The sexiest thing someone can do with their mouth during sex is:

kiss you 52%
moan & scream 18%
talk dirty 18%
direct you 7%
flatter you 5%


67% of you say pubes are best when they’re trimmed and groomed. The rest of you prefer ’em:

George-of-the-Jungly 17%
Smooth as a baby’s bottom 13%
Shaved into shapes and symbols 3%
(We like ’em when they’re not stuck in our teeth.)

If someone does something you don’t like during sex, you:

Guide their hand or other body part to a more preferable location 49% Tell them what you want 37% Keep quiet and hope they move on to something else ASAP 12% Give ’em the old heave-ho out the door 2%


5% of you answered “Get me a cold beer and a sandwich” when asked, “What’s the best thing your partner can do after sex?” Others are a bit more romantic: 47% want your partner to tell you they love you, and 26% would like them to suggest a hot shower for two, while 12% would prefer some towel service, and 10% would like to be left alone.

Oral exam

The most important thing for someone to keep in mind when giving you head is:
To get their hands and/or fingers in on the action 37%
Slow and steady wins the race 35%
To alternate between licking & sucking 20%
To make sure things are sufficiently lubed up 8%

What’s the worst part about the morning after sex?

13% of you say it’s seeing the person in the harsh light of day.
Leaving your partner naked in bed 53%
Cleaning the sheets 26%
Putting away the blow-up doll 5%
Paying 3%

Kissing that makes you lose your cool is:

Slow and gentle, easing into tonsil hockey 51%
Hard and fast, with tons o’ tongue twisting 30%
Tender and sweet with barely any tongue 19%


Relationship Status

Cheatin heart 6%
Open Relationship 13%
Standing by My Man (or Woman) 26%
Lone Ranger 55%