Stone Mountain, Georgia
Positive since 1995

In my lifetime, I have always attempted to do right by others. Or at least treat people the way in which I would want to be treated. Some have fallen by the wayside. Some have left this earthly home and yet others have managed to endure the ties that bind.

One such person is my friend, Raymond R. Duke. I have always counted on him for both spiritual and other things that I cannot even begin to count. His demeanor of loving people where they are at has carried throughout his entire existence, both professionally and personally. I know this because I not only work with him professionally but he is also my friend.

Raymond’s voicemail says “a friend is a gift that you give to someone.” Every time I hear that message it makes me smile and think, “Am I that type of friend?” He makes people want to do better. If you could only see him work his wonders.

His response to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex and androgynous community is one of love and affection. His ability to make everyone comfortable to sit and glean from his table even in the midst of pending tensions among our own community is astounding. His belief in making room for all makes people think that equality within our community is attainable. In his many years of working in the field of communicable disease prevention, he has never batted an eye or raised an eyebrow at whoever walked in the door for services. His stance is everyone needs help at some point. One day, it may even be you.

Raymond is also an ordained minister who teaches positive thoughts with love. I’ve gone with him to many of his speaking engagements, taking gifts to seniors, distributing clothing and goods to the homeless, attending to the sick and shut-in and and those who are in hospice care.

Through the years, he has taken to me as only a true friend can possibly do. When I first met him, I was this go-getter, out and about doing my thing. And yet I was having internal emotional issues. Raymond took the time to see through all of that and not once did he speak to me in a condescending manner. He treated me as only a friend would: with loving arms and a big joke that would have me cracking up to keep from crying.

It was when my AIDS diagnosis started getting the better of me and I started losing my mobility that I saw the real friend. I remember him always telling me, “When you are ready to stop using that walker, you will do it. And only then will that happen.” Raymond’s words were true and gave me something positive to think about.

However, that day never came. I am now in a wheelchair. Sound depressing? Actually it isn’t, no matter how you may perceive my situation. Raymond never allowed me to have a pity party.

The one thing that stands out more than anything to me was when Raymond was having one of those “you can do this” moments: He walked ahead of me to get me to walk on my own in that walker, and yet he stayed within eyesight to ensure that I was all right. That day gave me my dignity back, knowing that someone believed in me enough to see me at least try to do things on my own and yet manage to still be there.

Isn’t that what God does?

What adjective best describes you?
Motivated to do the things that make me feel independently proud of my achievements at the end of the day. I want to do as other people do and more.

What is your greatest achievement?
Raising my sons before, during and after my diagnosis. At the time, my only prayer was that God would allow me to see my sons live to sustain themselves. They are now 27 and 28 years old.

What is your greatest regret?
Not loving myself enough to know the differences of life. Also not being proactive in educating myself about HIV and the medications and having those interactive discussions with my doctors.

What keeps you up at night?
Soothing conversation or a good movie. Sometimes I worry about my sons and their goings-on.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?
Not stressing out about things and taking them one day at a time. Living your life but also owning up to the responsibilities of your decisions, past, present and future.

What is the best advice you ever received?
Don’t make this a pity party about yourself. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and LIVE.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?
Raymond R. Duke

What drives you to do what you do?
I’ve always lived my life taking care of others and ensuring that their needs are met. Now I am taking care of me and some of my wants. My motivation to remain independent keeps me going.

What is your motto?
Life is a divine creation and there are no mistakes, only purposes. Each day I look forward to a higher purpose and set examples for others to see and potentially exemplify.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?
My cats. They are my babies. They depend on me for their life and trust me to do just that.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?
An eagle. Although it is ironic because I have a fear of flying. I want to know what it feels like to look out over the land and to soar high.