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When you're born positive, you can't help but at the very least be partially defined by HIV. As I approach my 39th birthday and being an advocate, educator, and working in the field in various capacities for 20+ years I'm more aware of it now than ever before. Part of me wants to take a break from the work so not all facets of life are impacted by HIV, but they probably will be regardless. Thank you for writing something so relatable. Be well.
Well said Bob....as an HIV/AIDS activist who somehow managed to survive with AIDS in the late 80s and 90s, I must agree that it definitely changes you. I live each day as a gift & try to help others do the same. One can't deny the stigma of HIV is real & forced on us by the rest of the gay community. Long-term survivors are shunned & ignored by the next generation because we remind them of their own mortality. Ageism is a HUGE issue with gay people, because they're controlled by vanity.
“ The good thing is, I've never met more dedicated and loving people, than among HIV advocates.” Mark you are so right. It’s been one of the joys of living with HIV.
Well-written. It's tough to strike a balance between HIV being the one thing that defines you, and denying its existence, especially if you remember how it was in the 1980s and 1990s- first watching lovers and good friends die horrible deaths or just vanish, then being diagnosed with it (in my case, in 1995) and knowing what awaited. To people like us, AIDS cannot help but at least partially define us. The good thing is, I've never met more dedicated and loving people, than among HIV advocates.
The realization of my mortality has changed my life. HIV was the start of that realization. From April 1990 till today I have fought to maintain my dignity and independence from the ravages of HIV. I have lost friends, family and lovers to HIV. In my own way I have become an expert in HIV when it comes to nutrition, the importance of adherence, and healthy living. I am still not willing to let go of life, HIV just happens to be the nemesis in my life I live with and understand well.
I don't know. A good portion of these comments are quite sad. Why would you choose to be defined by HIV? Does living with migraines define you. Does cancer define you? Does having DDD's or a 15 inch c**k define you? You can choose to be defined by something or it can just be something that happens to be a part of your Universe. Taking a pill for HIV doesn't have to be anymore of a reminder that you have HIV than taking vitamins for strong bones that reminds you how human, or fragile you are.
Refreshingly honest. HIV gave me a fight for my life and I became a disability pensioner for 15 years. Yet people would seriously say to me HIV should not define me. They push their denial on me in the same breath as saying how HIV changed their lives but not their slogan. Listen to people's stories and it seems there is scarcely a person living with HIV who hasn't been affected by it. The stigma insists on denial. I am not limited by HIV, I live with it - I have returned to work.
Mike6240
Absolutely my HIV status defines me. I experienced the horrific deaths of my friends & family in the 1980’s & 1990’s. Any human being, who has experienced AND survived the death and destruction of AIDS in the 1980’s & 1990’s should be considered a martyr. You cannot EVER forget those two decades as a gay man. NEVER!
August 23, 2022