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HIV Disclosure,the most difficult taks to face. But it shouldn't be. After all, HIV is treatable, and we were the victims in this matter. Yes, some are going to reject us, so what. There are countless others who won't. However, to help cease the fear of disclosure, try wearing it on a T-shirt. Or better yet, put it on a bumper sticker. Doing so could help tame that fear and allure Mr or Mrs. Right. After all, it makes for great conversation. Learn more on disclosure at: http://afraidtotellthetruth.blogspot.com
I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I WAS SUPPOSE TO MEET A COUPLE OF GUYS BUT WAS TO SCARED, I CANT SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AND NOT TELL THAT IM POSITIVE. IM SCARED THAT IF I DO TELL THEM,THEY MIGHT PUT IT ON FACEBOOK OR TAGGED.DONT NO WHAT TOO DO. IM 61 YRS OLD AND NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
Disclosure has been so difficult for me with being a hetrosexual male, when i disclose to the women i date they get the curious puppy look, and wonder if im bi-sexual or used needles, when in fact i aquired the virus from a former girlfriend whos ex was a herion user and she didnt disclose her status. Now i only feel comforatable dating positive women, so where disclosure is no longer an issue.
The timing of this posting is exactly what I am dealing with at this moment. I recently met someone on Adam4Adam and I do not have my status listed neither pos or neg. Our first meeting was non sexual and we just spent a quiet evening getting to know each other. It looks like a second date is materializing for this week. I feel this person is someone I want to continue getting to know better. This is the part of dating that gives me so much anxiety for all the reasons stated in your article. I have spent the last 14 years since my last relationship alone and have been ok with it. As stated we all need and deserve human companionship and I really want to have this in my life. If the next date happens I want to disclose to him and get this out in the open. Like all of us I fear the rejection and what it does to my emotional well being. Lastly thank you for this posting it has helped me with my disclosure decision with this new interest.
I had the same issue with my last boyfriend 14 years ago, he put my emotions on a rollercoaster. I was always asked if I knew who infected me and if I was angry with this person. I am still not sure exactly when I was infected or by whom. It really does not matter I can only move forward with my life. We eventually broke up after I realized he could never give me the understanding and compassion on this part of my being.
Yea this one's a tough call! Sometimes I tell guys, sometimes I don't, sometimes I tell guys right away, sometimes I wait a bit. But I was thrilled recently when I had a great date and he asked me my status. I immediately said, 'positive', and we had a fine, calm discussion around that. He now wants to explore a LTR, and I should be flying to visit him in about a week. I don't think this will change my more 'intuitive' approach to disclosure, but I'm glad I'm inching my way toward another relationship despite, or even because of!, HIV=]
Patricia each individual is different in a relationship. No matter who we are we all enter a relationship with luggage. Some have a knapsack, some maybe a small carry-on, some with enough to fill a U-Haul. In your case Patricia it's only my opinion but it doesn't sound healthy when you're clearing/cleaning your past. I know this may sound confrontational but let him know this is who I am and I refuse to walk in shame. You have nothing to be shameful for. Things happen to us for a reason. we may not know what it is at that time, but eventually we see. And by reminding you of your past my be his own insecurity speaking to you. have a heart to heart and let him know that his reminders are hurtful. Sometimes bringing up a persons past is a way to make one feel powerful. but again don't walk in shame, you have nothing to be shameful of. You got the disease. So maybe ask him where do we go from here. Do we build a future or keep playing with the toys of the past. Good luck and feel free to write back!
jayden
wow...what a story. I'm feeling really bad because I disclosed to a man that I was feeling something for. After telling him I never heard from him again. Not the first time this happened to me but I'm left feeling sad. I don't sleep with anyone because I don't want to tell my deal. I want a boyfriend more than anything in the world, but feel it will never happen. Funny thing guy's on A4A are also on poz sites, very funny. Yes, I have had bpyfriends in the past and they knew but now it harder.
February 25, 2011