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That was quite touching, and I felt the love you have for your friend. It touched my heart in a way that I long for a person I could truly call a friend, and not only know it, but feel the kind of love you express. You were indeed a friend worth having, and appreciating. Thanks for sharing, and do stay encouraged!
That's so sad, just this article is like my own experience. I lost my beloved friend from same inexplicable brain aneurism, he was a very healthy man, so happy, all smiles, just when i found somebody who i could share our illness, hopes, love and everything in our lives...This happens, still i can't get it, still i'm feeling like piece of crap, it's too hard. I prefer to remind him as he was before, seeing him at the hospital between all those tubes and machines to help him to breath was shocking. After almost 3 months, i'm praying and begging to the Lord for understanding.
My sentiments are shared with each of you. I thank God for the each moment we are allowed to share with our friends and family. We must always try to seize the moment and enjoy life, in spite of its adversities.
I am sorry for the loss of a dear friend! God...I have to think how long it's been.. I am guessing over 30 years when it began to start for me... All my friends, one by one and my survival instincts kicked in.. I know I would like to live another day/ hour?? So, I also never saw anyone who I loved with my soul, that they have ever left me and that was a saving thought on my behalf!.. It allowed me to grieve and you must grieve their death and go through that process but you know back then, you had to group people cause there were so many I lost to this Virus... But today I am a long term survivor, hitting the 60 mark next year, can NOT believe that and my friends and Mom.. If I want to visit, I will start thinking about them or all of a sudden, I think , Jerry sure would have laughed at this etc and I have begun dreaming.. sometimes they are there but the only person I never dream about was my last true love and did I love this man .. All in the 80s , including my Mom , so I knew I had to do something, made them all panels (not Mom) for the AIDS Quilt but for Tony(me) I decided I needed to take time off ! I quit my Pharmacy post at a NY hospital and went up to Ptown to rejuvenate my spirit, think about where my life was heading etc.. I ended up living there on the bay for 10 glorious years and traveled allot in the Winter but my loved ones are always with me, looking over my shoulder, are" my angels" Cheers.. Tony(NYC)
Thank you for sharing such beautiful and timely words. Last week I lost my longtime HIV buddy too. We have both been living with this virus for more that 20 years, both healthy and living right. He too died suddenly of some brain related illness that his family has yet to disclose. As sad as his passing is for me it is compounded, once again, by the question why am I still here? About 10 years ago my friend Jack died, leaving me the last of our group to survive. There were 9 of us. I dealt with the survivors guilt first by drinking and drugging then through counseling and a 12 step program. I really thought it was gone. But it's not, it's back. At least this time I have a healthy way to process it. Thanks again and my prayers and sympathy are with you.
Live everyday as your last, because it is. Live until you die.
Thank you so much for sharing ur story and celebrating the life of ur friend....wakan tanka kici un (may the great spirit be with u)
Fred
From the way that you so eloquently described your relationship with your friend, I am certain that your friend knows how much he meant to you. A really close friendship is one where your friend understands how you are feeling just from the tone of your voice on a telephone, and it sounds like that is the type of relationship that you and your friend had with each other. Always remember that you were the person that he could talk to when he needed a confidant, and that type of friend is the most important type of friend that anyone could ever have.
July 8, 2011