They brought him into the room in an orange jumpsuit, his hands pinned beneath his belly in bright steel handcuffs. I nodded to the guards and they unlocked the cuffs, leaving me alone with him in the painted cinderblock visiting room.

?Have a seat?, I said, ?let?s get started.?

The charge was murder.

His name was Luthor. Luthor Labush.

?Man is an immortal, spiritual being,? he said, ?his experience extends well beyond a single lifetime. His capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized ? and those capabilities can be realized. He is able to not only solve his own problems, accomplish his goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability.?

?Well Luthor, its good to meet you, nothwithstanding the unfortunate circumstances.?

He rested his hands on the small table that separated us and splayed his fingers apart, his palms flat against the formica surface. His fingers were long and slender, almost elegant, but there was something about them that suggested violence. I imagined his forefinger curled around the trigger of a 9 mil, squeezing off rounds into the back of the man he was accused of shooting.

?Tell me about yourself, Luthor. How did you end up in here??

?I?m a Scientologist,? he said, ?the goal of Dianetics is a new state for the individual never before attainable in man?s history. This state is called “Clear.” A Clear possesses attributes, fundamental and inherent but not always available in an uncleared state, which have not been suspected of man and are not included in past discussions of his abilities and behavior.?

Uh-huh.

?The Clear is:freed from active or potential psychosomatic illness or aberration and self-determined. The Clear is vigorous and persistent. The Clear is unrepressed.?

?I see?, I said to him, ?but tell me what happened.?

?The Clear is able to perceive, recall, imagine, create and compute at a level high above the norm. The Clear is stable mentally, free with his emotion, able to enjoy life and to reason swiftly.?

?Who is the The Clear?? I asked politely. ?Did The Clear have something to do with the shooting??

?You mock me, but that?s okay, it doesn?t matter. The Church will prevail.?

?The Church? I don?t understand?, I answered.

?I?m a Scientologist,? he said, ?Dianetics are the scientific principles that guide us to a better path. A path that addresses the part of the mind that operates below the conscious level, exerting a hidden influence that causes you to react irrationally, say and do things that aren’t you, and have inexplicable emotions and ills that hold back intelligence and ability. It all resolves with Dianetics.?

?Well Luthor, that?s very good to hear, but we need to talk about your case.?

Luthor didn?t respond. He only wanted to talk about Scientology.

We?ve all read about Scientology. It?s the religion that caused Tom Cruise to jump on Oprah?s sofa, blissfully proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes on national television. I hoped the guards were watching closely in case Luthor decided to jump on the table and proclaim his love too.

My own view of Scientology is that it is a disease of the middle class. You won?t find too many Scientologists in Darfur or sub-saharan Africa. They are too busy starving and hacking each other to pieces. But who was I to ruin Luthor?s day?. If he wanted to believe in Scientology, that was his business. I was there to defend him, not to discourage him.

? One of the most fundamental breakthroughs of Dianetics is the concise statement of the goal of life itself?, said Luthor, ?this, the dynamic principle of man?s existence, was discovered by L. Ron Hubbard. From this fundamental discovery many hitherto unanswered questions about man and life were resolved. The goal of life can be considered to be infinite survival. That man seeks to survive has long been known, but that it is his primary motivation is new. Man, as a life form, can be demonstrated to obey in all his action and purposes the one command: SURVIVE!

SURVIVE! is the common denominator of all life, and from it came the critical resolution of man?s ills and aberrations. Survival is not only the difference between life and death. Nor does it mean merely existing. It encompasses things like ideals, love and art as vital aspects. The better one is able to manage his life and increase his level of survival, the more he will have pleasure, abundance and satisfaction.

Pain, disappointment and failure are the result of actions which do not promote survival. Dianetics addresses these moments of pain and threat to survival, and it provides a precise technology to increase your ability to survive and live a happier, healthier life. ?

?Are you living a happier, healthier life now, Luthor?? I asked politely.

?You can say whatever you like? he said, ?but I am The Clear.?

Luthor was clear, alright. Clearly out of his mind. He spent the next fifteen minutes rattling on about Operating Thetans and E-meters, telling me that I should become a Scientologist. I wasn?t interested. I don?t roll that way.

?Did The Clear pull the trigger?? I asked him. ?Will The Clear tell us the truth??

Luthor shook his head and pointed a bony forefinger at me.

?The dude was a rat?, Luthor replied, ?I capped his ass and he deserved to die.?

If Luthor was any indication of what Scientology was about, I didn?t want any part of it. I am perfectly content not being The Clear.

It was going to be a very interesting case....the-clear.jpg