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Maria and Michelle. i must agree with you that living with HIV is not an easy feat.Finding love while in this state is also another uphill task. However, placing a blanket condemnation on Africans is something I am reluctant with. There are very many Africans out here who are genuinely in need of love, who share feelings with other people and just like you, who are contending with this difficult human situation. Meeting a few bent Africans does not make the latter an African attribute. Africans are not a bunch of liars and con stars. At times, the West is portrayed to especially the not so well educated Africans as a place where you go and live like royalty, where everyone is rich...No T.V program/news item...shows the West as a suffering place. You can be able to gauge the reasoning capacity and level of exposure of your correspondent by the content of their submission. Still, there are Africans who don't look West/East for solutions to their problems but right where they are, and who would link up with anybody from anywhere in the world in the spirit of human solidarity. I wish someone wanted to prove me wrong! All the best. Ama'
michelle, it's time for an update. wonderful story. you know mine. yeah, we're still funking around. don't know, hopefully i will end up in a situation more similar to yours. congrats again. i know we've had this conversation many times. im happy you left your profile up despite the scammers. take care and im looking forward to reading the next part of this tale. best, d
I was thinking about deleting my bio today. After reading your column I have hope. I don't believe in settling-I believe in asking for what you want. Just last week three scammers e-mailed me Scammer number 1's wife died from cancer and he was home schooling his 2 sons. Yet, he travels the world w/o the kids. Last week he was robbed while in Africa and needed money to return home Scammer number 2 's wife left him with the son and he's traveling the world with the kid and wants 2 meet as soon as possible after 2 e-mails. Scammer number 3's wife is in Africa with their 4 sons an need I continue?
Hello Michelle, Congrats on your new relationship. I just recently got thrust back into the dating pool. The pickings were already slim, and our condition makes it harder. You found yours, hopefully I will too. You hit the nail on the head with the Africans and such, I mean do they really think we are that gullable, just because we are searching for relationships? Peace & Blessings M
This really brought back memories. Especially the part about the incomplete profiles. Very frustrating! I have had HIV for going on 10 years, I didn't start seriously seeking a partner through HIV positive dating sites until 2005. I was pretty lucky, I met the man I am now married to that same year. There were two issues on my part that caused us a lot of problems. One was my fears/stereotypes of HIV positive men. It's pretty sad but for all the anger I have about people prejudging me due to my status, I sure did have a hard time trusting in my partners past and present life story. Also, I contracted HIV when I was 19 and in my youth had only had serious long term relationships with thugs, so I didn't quite know how to relate to a responsible adult. So basically I was paranoid that I'd find I'd run off with a closet homosexual closet addict, AND I was still stuck on my own dysfunctional notions of what it means to be a man. I'm sure that this could offend some gay men and people struggling with drug abuse, and self described thugs. That's not my intention. As a straight woman with a young child I had certain criteria. To be fair, he did have plenty of his own baggage, so it was a rough start to say the least. BUT slowly and painfully we both shared to the point we were comfortable with, grew up a bit more, and went from wanting love and trust, to loving and trusting each other. Finding that I would be most comfortable in a relationship with a HIV positive man was a very prolonged journey for me, and so was leaving my past behind and allowing my partner to do the same. I'm so glad I did.
I'm so happy for you . I think you are on the right path . i have ben waching you for years . This is the first time you did things the righ way .
cassiusm
What is this that you are saying about Africans? Here I am. A single man and I am an African looking and wanting to get into a serious relationship or possibly get married. I have had no luck either just like you girls and I wish someone can come along in my life to share life together. Yet, I have been frustrated by the distance for the most part but remain very optimistic to find some especially around where I live. I know it is hard for guys but I think it is much easier for ladies out there to find someone. Should anybody to my posting, I will be much happier to get in touch. Calm32
November 11, 2009