*UPDATE: Sharon got bumped for the football player who was murdered.*

Tonight, this month’s POZ Magazine covergirl and HIV/AIDS activist, Sharon Stone, will appear on Larry King Live.

She’ll be there to discuss the search for the AIDS cure (yes, it’s still happening out there somewhere in the world) and the current state of HIV. But who knows what will happen when Larry starts firing questions. Will she go all Seinfeld on his ass? Or just politely walk off like the guy who killed- er, operated on- Kanye West’s mother?

Here’s how my crystal ball envisions the proceedings...

Larry King: Sharon Stone!

Sharon Stone: Larry! Good to see you.

Larry: Sharon Stone!

Sharon: Yes!

Larry: (looks to off-camera stagehand) I thought this was going to be a sit across from one another on a stool interview like Bill Maher does.

Sharon: Larry, it’s too early for a Basic Instinct joke. Did you know this Saturday is World AIDS Day?

Larry: Sharon Stone!

Sharon: My work with AmFAR...

Larry: Do you have AIDS?

Sharon: No, but that doesn’t mean I’m fearful of people with AIDS.

Larry: Ya got it from that husband, Charles Bronson. He slept around a lot, had a death wish from what I hear.

Sharon: No, no. Phil Bronstein. And we’re no longer...

Larry: Yeah, right. Bronstein. Got bit by that dragon, got AIDS from it and passed it to you. Well, good thing he doesn’t have the AIDS anymore.

Sharon: My God, Larry. I’m speechless.

Larry: Sharon Stone! Rugged husband mauled by dragon. Lost her voice to the AIDS. What else will she lose next? Stayed tuned to find out.

(Sharon is crying as they go to commercial break. When the program returns, she is gone, and Donnie Osmond is there discussing future variety show which will co-star his sister.)

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Positively Yours,

Not Phil Bronstein.