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The next day they found a 2 foot clot in right leg (DVT). Thanks fellow poz humans.....i really needed to put this out there...
Ah, the joys of being an LTS.... i am saying that in jest. I am alone, tend to isolate and just like so much Sean has said has been my experiences. Due to situations changing, i feel a gentle calling to start getting involved in hiv advocacy again. Worked in the field (ASO's) etc. I have been quiet for a few years due to severe trauma and nearly dying last May. I had a Pulmonary embolism with and apple sized clot on "saddle of heart", heart failure.
Being a LTS is not fabulous at all. DX 31 years ago, turning 54 in October. Life is hard, plain and simple. I remember taking AZT every four hours, even during sleeping hours, i remember enrolling in every drug study i could find via Kaiser Permanente Sunset. Being on the cover of APLA's newsletter back in the 90's to bring attention to the 'Buffalo hump" and another fatty deposit on lower back, fighting Medical Review Board for Serostim to break hump up. I had never even taken Crixivan.
It makes me mad to see people with HIV or newly diagnosis of AIDs not get the help or life savings medicines they need to live. Instead they die due to lack of support, funds or health insurance. -Remembering a young father of three young daughters.
I'm in my 50's, fortunate to have survived. I lost two life-time best friends and never gained a best friend since. I have good friends but really miss my best'ies. I hate living with HIV. But glad I do live. I believe HIV aged me almost overnight. I never know if my ailments are from HIV, Meds, aging, or natural. Likely a combination which interferes with work and life. What helps me is knowing that this is not the only century with a disease and losses. It is part of life.
It is a very thought inspiring blog, thank you, Mark, for sharing it. I was tempted to comment on several points you bring up in this post but I chose just one leaving space for other points to sink in deeper. I strongly disagree that human nature is self-centered. No, it is not. This concept is largely rooted in the American culture. Once you cross the border or the ocean, you find yourself in a very different paradigm of being. And the world cares about history a great deal.
No, it isn't great.Senior with fixed income but everything else goes up and there are scarce breaks for us. If there are breaks, one is subjected to tons of paper work and agencies, meetings and at times health is not cooperating.waiting and waiting....loneliness, rejection, rumors, and assumptions. Health and energy mercurial, emotions as well. Fear of being turned out to the street because one does not meet requirements or "inspections". Relatives and friends who don't understand.
TJMiDWEST
I'm sure I caught HIV in the 90's while in my 20's. Was diagnosed in my 30's just as the treatment options improved. That's probably what saved my life. But years of living with the disease has impacted my cognition and my health. I just turned 50 and I feel 60. Didn't have the stamina and drive to compete in the workplace and soon found myself unemployed & impoverished. Now back in the midwest and unfortunately back in the closet. Not so fabulous right now. More like alone and isolated.
November 21, 2017