I had to do a Part 2. If I didn’t, how would you begin to understand the things that tend to happen in my world? Or even understand my thinking on certain things you may have seen me post about in the Forums or see here in the future. For now, I will continue to give some insight about me and my family. Now try to keep up, because it gets kind of confusing....

The Family---

I actually have 2 sets of family; Biological and Adopted. I was adopted at the tender age of 12 by a man who was dating my biological mother when she was pregnant with me. All I know of my biological father is his name and that he was born in Puerto Rico. As of this day, I do not even know if he knows of me or if he is even alive. My brother had seen him but not after the age of 6. Sad but true. So, when I speak of them in terms of the biological family, I will be speaking about my mother’s children. My father’s children will be the adopted side. But remember, even with the adopted side I have siblings from my adopted mother’s side too. I will barely mention them though. Did you get all that? It may take you rereading it a few times for it to sink in. Both sides are quite dysfunctional. I am the next to the youngest of my biological family and the youngest on the adopted side.

Now if you remember in Part 1, I had spoken about having disclosed to my 2 older sisters. They are from the biological side of the tree. When I was in high school, I made the effort to get to know them and form some kind of bond, but I guess that bond really didn?t stick too well. I felt closer to my oldest sister than the other. The reason for this is because the other sister was always doing something to try to belittle me to others. This was even before I was diagnosed. Why? I wish I knew. Others in the family think it’s some type of jealousy (in my sister’s mind) due to my mother treating her lighter kids better than her darker ones. My sisters and I have different fathers (but my older sisters have the same father). The thinking on that just doesn’t make sense to me because my mother was dark skinned like my sisters. My oldest sister was supportive towards me when I first found out I was poz but then that changed too. Why? I don’t know that either. I love them because they are my sisters but I don’t trust either of them as far as I can throw them. I talk to them from time to time. And sometimes the time between talking to them has turned into years.

I also have a brother and sister who live out of state. My brother lives in Georgia and my youngest sister lives in Florida. I know my brother knows my status because I have mentioned it to him when I go into angry tirades about my older sisters. I just think he chooses to ignore it. My youngest sister and I talk from time to time, but mainly through emails. I usually keep her updated on what is going on with me. She is the youngest at 26 and goes to college. She is also a lesbian but who cares about that; I am just proud of her. I am not sure if she knows my status but even if she did/does, I doubt very much that it would change anything between us. And that is the very short version about my family. The biological side that is.

The adopted side of my family I really don’t see too much either. I have a sister who lives in Philadelphia. She usually comes into town every few years to visit the family on her mother’s side. The last time I saw her was when we spread some of my father’s ashes in Lake Erie after being cremated. My brother, who is the oldest on my father’s side, I really don’t see at all. I haven’t seen him since about the same time as my sister. Will I ever see them? More than likely, probably not.

Hmmm, I guess it is time to talk about myself - something I have never been really good at. You already know the basics. I like to think of myself as a loner, which to me is not a bad thing. I do have a few friends and I mean few. I don’t call many people my friends. You have to earn the right to be called that and most I consider to be acquaintances. I didn’t choose to be this way; but was made this way by trusting those who were suppose to support me and those who I thought supported me. When I say support, I don’t mean always agree with me but at least have my back. It was cold and hard lesson to learn but I learned it.

I would describe myself as a good person. I try to live my life as righteous as I possibly can and I have a few personal commandments that I live by. I don’t follow the famous 10, that’s just too damn many to remember. I?d like to think of myself as a somewhat spiritual person but I am not a Christian. I follow the Pagan ways and am a bit eclectic in my choice of paths. I give all their due respect unless given a reason not to.

I think I have given you enough for one night. I don’t want to overload anyone. And a lady is always supposed to leave some things a mystery. ?Til next time........