Culpeper, Virginia

Positive since 1986

I was diagnosed HIV positive in 1986 by the American Red Cross in Washington, DC, after giving blood. I had just gotten out of the Army after a second term. I was a gallon blood donor in the military, so I continued donating after I got out. Months later, I was contacted by the Red Cross asking if I could come in. Back then, they did not tell you your status over the phone.

An elderly woman took me into a private room in the clinic. After closing the door, she gave me the news. In those days, HIV was a death sentence, so I asked how long I had point-blank. I was told I had about five years.

I had recently gone through a divorce, so I had my wife and 5-year-old son anonymously tested. They were both negative.

I knew who gave me HIV. He lied to me. He had been positive for years.

I decided I wanted to do something before I died. I wanted to help others like me. Believing in karma, I hoped it would return to me when I needed it. Five years was not a long time.

Whitman-Walker Health, the clinic in Washington, DC, helped me finish my nursing certifications by a giving me a scholarship to Howard University.

I graduated and did an internship program for home care through Whitman-Walker. I thought I would go to Grandma’s House, a home for babies with HIV/AIDS.

Being a single parent and watching many people with AIDS die, I quickly changed my mind about taking care of babies. It was tragic enough with adults. I did not want to see a baby die.

I got lucky. While doing charity benefits for Metro TeenAIDS, I met two designers. I quit nursing and went to work at ASID Design Firm. I didn’t miss nursing. My heart goes out to each and everyone in that profession.

Next, I joined a group called the Northern Virginia AIDS Ministry. We went to different churches and schools and spoke about our lives with HIV and how we got it, etc. Unfortunately, after the Patriot Act was passed, some of the people I tried to help by telling my story used my own words to “consider me a suspicious person and sex offender in Virginia.” I was followed, pulled over by the police and frisked over 20 times in a three-year period. Needless to say, I quit the lectures.

Wanting to do more, I competed in and won Mr. D.C. Drummer. This gave me a platform to talk about HIV/AIDS. I continued to raise money for charities with help from the Potomac MC, D.C. Eagle and Green Lantern D.C.

In 2006, we downsized and sold our home and moved further into the country. Twenty-six years later, since my diagnosis, I’m undetectable and doing OK.

I ask myself all the time, “Why did I survive?”

Depression has blessed me with good days and bad. I’m a survivor, though, so that’s what I do.

The stigma of HIV, even in the gay world, is apparent. But with more education, hopefully we’ll all assume everyone is positive and play it safe.

I came across the POZ website and magazine through the Veterans Administration Hospital in DC. Hats off to you! Fantastic job!

I wish there were more ways for us to show what the survivors of the 21st century really look like. We can show there’s so much hope. You just have to want it, no matter the struggles. Happiness can be yours.

To any and all who may read this: After all these years, we all should know HIV/AIDS does not discriminate. Just play safe.

What three adjectives best describe you?

Kind. Loving. Considerate.

What is your greatest achievement?

Just growing older. Doing fundraisers in the early days and raising money for people with AIDS and Metro TeenAIDS.

What is your greatest regret?

I used to go to schools and churches and tell my story about actually loving and trusting the person who gave me HIV, only to have self-righteous haters use my story against me.

What keeps you up at night?

I sleep OK most of time. I’m at peace. I would really like to tell my story. Not for fame or fortune but to possibly keep someone else from making my mistakes.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

Decrease the amount of medications needed for HIV.

What is the best advice you ever received?

Assume everyone is HIV positive and always play it safe.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

Dr. HJ Payne (friend) and Dr. Rosenthal (Kaiser Permanente).

What drives you to do what you do?

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Also, the desire to help others the best that I can.

What is your motto?

God helps those whose happiness depends on the likes and dislikes of others.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

My cat.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

An eagle. I would soar way above all the hate and violence this so-called human existence offers.