Austin, Texas

Positive since 1991

In 1991, I found a wonderful man. I knew he was bisexual, but we both got tested for HIV. I saw both of our results, and they were negative.

We decided to get married. Soon afterward, he got a bad infection in his mouth and became very sick. I was pregnant at the time and learned he wasn’t the person he claimed to be. He was using an alias and was being hunted by the police.

Since I was pregnant, we discussed him turning himself in and fixing up our lives. He was given a 10-year sentence. Six months into my pregnancy, the doctor asked if I wanted another HIV test. Since my fiancé had been sick with similar symptoms that I’d seen in friends who had passed, I said yes. I was HIV positive. My fiancé learned in jail he was also positive. We got married while he was in jail.

Our son was born HIV positive on March 1, 1992. By some miracle, his immune system kicked in, and several doctors gave me the news when my son was 2.

Due to my husband’s extended jail time, we drifted apart, and I met another man seven years later. I shared my status right away; to our amazement, he was also positive. Three years later, we got married.

I began reading in your magazine about how HIV-positive people could have HIV-negative babies. I read POZ for two years before we decided to get pregnant.

Our son Zachary was born on May 29, 2003.

He was born HIV negative and is fabulous. His father passed away from an AIDS-related illness on August 3, 2012, but thankfully, we have a beautiful 12-year-old son who is much like his dad. If it weren’t for POZ, he wouldn’t be here, so I thank you so much.

What is your greatest achievement?

Believing in new possibilities and miracles for positive women and men.

What is your greatest regret?

At times, the depression of my past caused certain addictions, but now I’ve come to help others with their addictions.

What keeps you up at night?

Hoping to live to see my 12-year-old turn 20. Strange, yes, but while pregnant, I asked God to please let me see him get to that age.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

For people with depression to ask for help sooner than I did in the past.

What is the best advice you ever received?

To ask people for help with depression sooner than I did in the past—I do now.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

I respect Elton John and all he does all over the world in the continuous fight against AIDS.

What drives you to do what you do?

AIDS is not over yet, especially with the young people. They need to be taught, and I try to do this. I know some people who are HIV positive who won’t go to the doctor.

What is your motto?

Never focus on my HIV, take my meds and dance as my friends and I always did. And it’s worked. My viral load is still undetectable.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

My son.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

A cat because they just know when something is wrong health-wise and can help relieve stress.