Tucson, Arizona

Positive since 2000

My name is Jane, and I was infected with HIV in 1993 via blood products I received while undergoing a hysterectomy for cervical cancer. I never recovered after the surgery, and for seven years, I did not know why I was sick all the time. I tested positive for HIV in 2000. I was living in Wisconsin at the time and could not believe the attitudes of people who found out. Medical people treated me the worst and still do. I have a strong belief and faith in God. That is one way I handle all the hate that I deal with. I also have good friends and a husband who is negative and is still crazy about me after 34 years. We do not have sex. I stopped having sex when I was diagnosed 15 years ago. I still have a great relationship with my husband, and he has been there for me since day one. I have been caring for him for the last five years because he is confined to a wheelchair and recently lost his leg to vein disease.

We never let my illness or his disability stop us from enjoying life, though. We love going shopping and out to dinner. I also love Facebook and have many friends. Life is what you make of it, and I choose to live it to the fullest with a positive attitude. I learned over the years to ignore the ignorant, as all they will do is bring me down. I live for my husband and daughter—who is 34 and going to law school next year—and my friends, who accept me as is. The only regret I have is I feel there is no place for me in the AIDS community as a straight, older woman and wish this would change. We’re in this together, and it should not matter what sex I am.

We moved from Wisconsin to Arizona in 2010 to escape the cold, but Wisconsin had better medical care. My doctors in Arizona are uncaring. I will be moving back to Wisconsin next year so I can get better care. Recently, I almost lost the love of my life to MRSA. He was in a coma for 32 days, but now he is recovering in a care home. I go see him every day. While my husband is away, I am planning our 2,000-mile move back to Wisconsin. I cope best with having AIDS by being busy and caring for others.

What three adjectives best describe you?

Resourceful, resilient and hard-working.

What is your greatest achievement?

Getting clean from prescription drugs 13 years ago.

What is your greatest regret?

Leaving good care in Wisconsin.

What keeps you up at night?

Worrying about my husband who has been hospitalized since May 10. We’ve never been apart this long in all of the 34 years together. I miss him terribly!

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

People’s attitudes—ending hate and stigma.

What is the best advice you ever received?

To marry my husband!

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

Ryan White.

What drives you to do what you do?

My husband, daughter and good friends.

What is your motto?

You only get one chance at life! Live it to the fullest!

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

My tablet!

If you could be any animal, what would you be?

A cat!