If you’ve read my last entry then you pretty much know what is going on in my life as my world turns. Things are falling into place on the whole with some minor irritations on the side, nothing I can really do about those but go along for the ride, except for one. The drama with my roomie and his ex.

It started up once my roomie left his ex and moved in with me. The ex has done everything from harassing other people to calling my roomie’s job and mother trying to disclose his status. I have been called nigger too many times to keep count and he keeps stalking around my house. The most recent has been last night in which we called the police and notified them that a PFA was in place. They were also told about the harassment charges that I pressed against him. But even with those things being done, our local law enforcement still doesn’t seem to want to act on anything, which has me feeling very frustrated to say the least. It’s almost like they are waiting for something bad to happen, like my roomie getting fucked up or me fucking up his ex before they will do something. We have done everything we were told to do.

The situation as a whole has me feeling very violated and very angry. And being that I have dealt with abuse in my past, I don’t like feeling like a victim. It has come to the point that my reaction to things that has been happening is making me want to take it to another level, a place I would rather not go. And a temper I have had in check for quite sometime. I am almost ready to quote the character from the Incredible Hulk, David Banner, “Don’t make me angry, you really wouldn’t want to see me when I am angry.” Trust me, it’s not a pretty picture. I am way past the point of losing my religion and tired of turning the other cheek. How Jesus managed to do it is beyond me nor do I really care about what he would do.

Instead what I am drawing on is my past experiences with abuse. What is frustrating is this is not my fight but my roomie’s. I am doing my best to try to empower him but he still has his weak moments. I try to remember that though he does not realize it, he has been reprogrammed and conditioned by the abuse from his ex. Usually once the dust has cleared, the ex tries to make it all better by buying him gifts or probably some make up sex. Since the breakup, the ex has tried offering gifts of money, a laptop and even a cell phone. But when that doesn’t work he flips into Dr. Jekyl or is it Mr. Hyde and leaves messages of ruining his life in any way possible or pleading that he will change.

I try to put myself in my roomie’s place and have been there. I know love can be blind and my roomie tends to look at life through rose colored glasses. I, on the other hand am looking at what his ex has done already and what he is capable of doing. I see the desperateness behind his actions and the possibilities of what could happen.

The whole situation has showed me a glimpse of what gay men have to go through when it comes to the law. How blind justice can really be from those who swore to protect and serve. A person’s sexual preference should not come into play and what should be the main concern is a person’s well being. For a gay man, “911 is a Joke” and Public Enemy was right on point.