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The Dark Side Awakens

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Jamie Nguyen

Dear Richard, As a newcomer to the POZ lifestyle, and being HIV-negative; I guess you could say that I identify as a bugchaser... when I'm high on meth. I recently relapsed, and I'm realizing now that all I want is love and connection, and meth gives me a false sense of security of that. I have an ex-fiance who loved me, but at the time I thought I didn't deserve it because I saw myself as a failure. I'm still struggling with sobriety, but your blogs have given me hope that I will find it.

October 7, 2019 San Jose, CA


I love that this is causing a stir and conversation surrounding addiction. Thank you for everyone getting involved. This is my story and I would urge those of you with strong negative opinions to continue reading my posts. It does get better, but I’m telling you exactly how it happened instead of sugar-coating it. I’m not glorifying meth, I’m explaining the allure and how it was about to get very dark so it could get better.

May 31, 2018 New York


Terrifying as heck but I get it, for that I think this story is beautiful. Looking forward to the next post.

May 31, 2018


Thomas J Villa, yes, I did find the blog post tilitilating and erotic because for me the post did paint an erotic and steamy scene. For me, the meth part of it was underplayed in the blog post. For me, in the blog post he seemed to be having a great time. But you tell of the horrors of meth that the post didn't tell.

May 30, 2018 UK


Dude. I may be poz for 5 years n since day one ive always been upfront. Because ive been upfront, ive been gettin more tail then sittin there feeling sorry for myself because i have something thatll eventually kill me, SO WHAT. Its the person that builds those barriers of insecurity so i feel ya champ. Either way my drug use or "way of life" shouldn't be my down fall apparantly if drugs r an issue then change it. Pick another subject to be passionate about then when you get bored do something else

May 29, 2018 United States

Kelly Johnson

His story is very much like mine and so many other's of acceptance by others using. After years, this dance with her that I survived after coming out of an induced coma for acute double pneumonia and detoxing, the loss of another class of antiretroviral because my OWN STIGMA of HIV. From taking a bump on the dance floor, to smoking , than of course injecting. I am now a survived, many not or still using. I now share my status and story when I do HIV testing in the community.

May 29, 2018 United States


chaz1303, The straights can get STD's just like everyone else and yet you do not hear them berating each other. I think the problem is that many gays like you have internalized homophobia and do not think that you deserve to have the same sex life as others have. Once you take the threat of HIV out of it then we are all on the same footing. Heterosexuals have "unprotected sex" all the time, BTW. This is the whole point of the article, one man telling of his demons and still the stigma about sex.

May 28, 2018


Most guys don't want to know if you're POZ. Out. Once you tell a person you're POZ, they want nothing to do with you ever again. I really thought that for most guys it was about contracting HIV from me, but it's not about that. It's about being made to think about HIV. It's something that many people don't want to do. For example: people that are taking PreP so they won't contract HIV, will not be thinking that they can still get a STD by having unprotected sex.

May 28, 2018 Phoenix


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