Since I could remember, I never handled disappointment very well. And now that I am older, you would think I would’ve gotten use to it. I try my best to avoid it but it always seems to happen which has kind of lead me to being very pessimistic about things. There is a point to be made here and I am about to get to it.

In my last entry, I was feeling pretty good about things. The possibility that I may be moving out of this apartment for which I am paying more out in the gas bill than I am paying rent to a house. Though it is nothing I can afford on my own and my room mate would be moving with me. It is something I have been wanting for a long time. Not officially mine yet but things are in the works. I am hoping I won’t get disappointed in the long run with the house. I have my fingers and my legs crossed.

What has me feeling disappointed is this car that I have been trying to get running and legal. After catching hell getting it to the mechanic and it sitting for at least 2 weeks, I have come to find out that there are a few things it needs to pass inspection. It needs new brakes, rotors and four new tires. I have the money to cover the rotors and the brakes but not enough to cover four tires. I did my best to try to trouble shoot and find options even if it meant getting four used tires. I made countless calls to various tire places and the cheapest set of tires would run me two hundred and sixty dollars.

With what I make on disability, there is no way, I can cover it even if I opted to try to buy two tires, no place here would pass it through inspection because of the two remaining bad tires. I am feeling really bummed about it and more than anything frustrated. I was really hoping I could have this car up and running. And as much as I try to be optimistic there is always something that happens to keep me down and feeling pessimistic. I keep trying to go on the thought that something has to give but it seems like nothing ever does.It is always something holding me back from accomplishing anything that I really need.