I was at a point when I was young that I decided I was going to throw myself in the shark and parasite pool that we all know as, “The Dating Pool”. I had reached a place where I had all my demons at bay and all the luggage I was carrying was in a large storage closet.
I Now I’m showing my age when I say this but for you young uns’ reading this there actually was a time when there was no such a thing called the ’internet’. Today whether you’re looking to date or looking for a simple booty call, you just go to a particular website, create a profile and either order in or have it delivered.
I Back during my time you had to get an alternative paper such as the Village Voice but in my city at the time it was a paper called City Times. In the back were the personal ads and each ad were grouped in section. So looking in the men for men section and because the ads didn’t have pictures you’re going by words and no pictures so you respond to whatever was written and resonates with you.
I I saw an ad and responded to it. He seemed to describe himself as a fun person, likes to laugh and physical based on what he wrote it sounded all good. There’s a lesson here, don’t believe everything you read. Not knowing this I responded by letter and received a call from him the following week. He sounded nice and maybe he was the person he described himself. We decided to meet at a local restaurant. I didn’t have any high hopes but who knows when it comes to the heart.
I Day of the date and I get there early and I wait outside since it was a nice day. I see the city bus stop and off comes a man and he’s walking toward the restaurant. Now at this point I’m staring and praying it’s not him because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He was a tall and lanky white man and wore this kinda beard that didn’t know if it really wanted to grow out as a full beard. He had long hair. Not Jesus Christ long hair, but hair where each strand looked as if they were trying to escape his scalp, entangling themselves in the process.
I Now although I’m a fashionista now I wasn’t back then but I’ll start with his shirt. It was pink. A bright pink that I never knew existed. But of course he would wear a pink shirt to go with his pants that were covered with pink elephants all over. From belt buckle to the bottom of his pants. He was a walking Walt Disney Fantasia cartoon.
I “Hey are you Aundaray. You look great”
I I learned if you can’t say nothing nice don’t say nothing at all. Of course another Walt Disney reference from the movie Bambi, told to the rabbit Thumper.
I It was hard to go in to the restaurant because I was not out and honestly how can I explain to strangers the pink elephants. Putting that aside I got over it and we sat down but thank good the restaurant had these huge long menus because I hid my face in it reading and rereading the dinner specials.
I There’s a difference between black folks and white. I don’t care what anyone says. White people if they see something strange they look at you out of the corner of their eyes. Black people, we give you that full look with everything we want to say registered on our face. The ones who were staring at me had the, “What the Hell” look.
I Now I don’t want to sound shallow but the guy who was also HIV positive started to give me his whole health history. And we’re not talking about using the inside voice. So if you were sitting around us you were hearing what i was hearing. Part of that history involved him recently getting an anal wart removed from his behind and this was the first time he could sit with out pain. He joyfully shared he was going to have the second one removed the following week and if i like I could come visit.
I That was it for me, just like the diners immediately around us I was no longer hunger and I used my acting skills to feign sickness which I said was coming from my stomach and could we leave. For him it was no problem as he related his recent bout with diarrhea. Was this really happening or was I on Candid Camera?
I Needless to say it was the last time I saw him but I will never see the movie Fantasia in the same way.
I Since then I learned there’s other people with pink elephants as dating is a hard thing and it takes awhile to find that person you can relate to and see yourself spending time with.
I The heart knows what the heart want.
I For me it was not pink elephants!!