For years Nurse Know-It-All (a.k.a. Greg Lugliani) kept POZ readers in the pink. Sadly, she has flipped her cap and fled—leaving these 10 treasured treatment tips to remember her by:

Ad Nausea

“Tranquilize your GI tract by eating smaller, more frequent meals, drug regimen permitting. Indulge in a preprandial (get out your dictionary, darlings) glass of (filtered) water with a lemon twist—it’s simple, elegant, and said to settle the stomach.” —November 1999

Constipation Frustration

“How did Mussolini keep his trains running on time? An iron fist. Nurse advises a softer touch: Consuming 20 to 30 milligrams of fiber a day makes a healthier stool and a happier you.” —December 1999

Gas Mask

“Some people have given their emissions as excuses for falling off the med wagon. Don’t even think of it, sweets. For what it’s worth, I’d much rather suffer your smells than attend your memorial service.” —September 1999

Genital Warts and All

“Your miraculous meat puppet may enjoy cult status, but—saints alive—I pray you’re keeping it enshrined in latex during all consensual rituals. Don’t even get me started on unsheathed butt-banging and the nasty growths it promotes.” —January 2000

Hungover? Hang On

“It may come as a surprise, dear readers, that your Nursie has put in her time on bar stools. ‘Where are the remedies, Nursie?’ you gasp. I’ll make it easy: Hydrate.” —May 2001

Hot Lips, Cold Sores

“Love is never having to say, ‘I don’t want to suck your scabs,’ so keep Mr. Right around by shortening your suppurating sores’ sojourn. If nature is how you nurture, why not try lapping up a little lysine, swallowing selenium, popping vitamins A and C?” —January 2002

Slumber Jack

“As much as I hate to say it, avoid nightcaps. Even a soupçon of sauce before slumber stimulates the chemical activity in the brain that is bound to bar you from beauty sleep.” —June 1999

Tattoo You

“Goodness gracious, when you stop to consider, it’s rather like having somewhat savage safe sex, isn’t it? Once you’ve decided to embrace the pain, don’t wimp out by failing to ask how things get sterilized.” —January 2001


“Yo, Flo: Your not-so-sweet stuff may require a dentist’s prescription for a special back-of-the-tongue scraper and antibacterial rinse. (Mouthwash, you ask? Most contain alcohol, drying the mouth and keeping the vicious-smelling cycle rolling.)” —February/March 2001

Cramps Your Style

“They don’t pay me the big bucks to wear this ghastly uniform for nothing, so here are a few more cramp-countering tips: Physical activity, especially aerobic, stimulates the body’s built-in painkillers, endorphins. For extra relief, try the big ‘O.’ Sex-cum-climax works wonders.” —July 2000