While flipping through a copy of Real Simple in bed one night, Gwenn came across a contest for K-Y lube called “K-Y Couples Place”. Couples and fans of the K-Y product were invited to submit a 300-word essay on their relationship, after which 10 couples would be chosen and voted on, the winners receiving a $1000 trip to NYC and a public lubing in Times Square.

Okay, I made up the last part.

Anyway, Gwenn and I have used our fair share of lube over the last decade, so we figured, “Why not enter?” Gwenn wrote in, but we didn’t make the Top 10. The couples that beat us can be found on the K-Y Couples Facebook page. (Bravo to K-Y for selecting a same-sex couple- almost makes up for dissing us.)

“You can’t win them all,” I told Gwenn as I held her in my arms.  Not wanting her beautiful words to go to waste, I’ve decided to post her submission here.

Shawn and I met when I was in graduate school. We both worked in sexual health, which made us fast friends and gave us an opportunity to talk about sex freely. When we started having deeper feelings for one another, it was nice to have those talks under our belt before we got under the covers, so to speak.

I love and admire my partner, Shawn, for so many reasons. He was diagnosed with a life threatening illness- HIV- as a child, and faced so much discrimination growing up. But he never gave up, and as an adult he has dedicated his life to educating others. I’m so thankful he did, for if he hadn’t, we would have never met and fallen in love.

Communication and trust are key in our relationship, which is now in it’s tenth year, including six years of being happily married. I’m HIV negative, and we speak to college students about how I stay that way, using condoms correctly with lubrication. Basically, we educate about we know to be true in our personal lives: sex can be safe and fun, as it should be.

One of the best things about our relationship is the amount of time we get to spend with one another. Since we travel for work, we find ourselves in somewhat unromantic places: an airport, a traffic jam in an unfamiliar city, you get the picture. But we are always quick to find humor in what we call “our little adventures”, and, upon our return home, it always fun to sleep in our own bed. Best of all is the comfort I feel in being with a partner that I trust absolutely.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Goddammit that is beautiful.  I’m totally biased, I know, but how could that be passed up?  What’s up, K-Y?  Of course I had to go read the other couples’ entries and nothing compares- not a single damn word or sentiment... I mean... well... okay, I have to admit something: I wrote that in Gwenn’s voice.

But hey, she approved it!  I can’t help it if I’m the writer in the relationship.  And I can’t exactly boycott K-Y over this slight.  That would be like cutting off my balls to spite my taint.  Life will go on- lube will continue to be used and, as Gwenn (I) wrote, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Positively Yours,

Shawn on:    Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6  Shawn’s book    Decker’s Daily Coffee

Bookmark and Share
Share the Blog.  Not the Virus.