Thank the Goddess that Thanksgiving is over. I didn’t think I would make it through the day though I did have a few rough patches. Those patches are called “The Whore of Babylon” and her kids. The whore is actually my older sister. I know the name sounds harsh but I wasn’t the one who coined the name, it was my oldest sister who lives upstairs from me. And actually she earned the name. I am not going to put her business out there like she did me, I’ll just say she has done some real grimy things in her lifetime. Not just to her friends but her sisters, I’ve caught the worst of it between me and my oldest sister. Back to the story at hand though....

Thanksgiving Day, I really did not even want to get out of the bed. But the phone rang around nine-ish which brought me out of a damn good dream. It was my oldest sister, telling me when dinner would be ready. It irritated the hell out of me because she knows I am not a morning person. Anyone who is in my life knows I am not a morning person. And usually the person who wakes me out of my slumber has hell to pay for doing it. I tried to be bitchy about it but for some reason I just couldn’t. I actually got up in a good mood even though I didn’t want to get out the bed. My room is the warmest in the house even when my heat is on seventy- two.

So, I decided to surprise her and call her back. During our conversation, I told her if the W.O.B. (I am abbreviating it now cause I am being lazy) comes over that I would probably not attend dinner. While getting those words out my mouth, the doorbell rings. Guess who? Yep, the W.O.B and her kids. Both are grown but seemed to have picked up their mother’s whore gene.

Now these people never see me any time of year but Thanksgiving and Christmas or grace me with a phone call to see how I am doing. What’s the first thing out their mouth after “Happy Thanksgiving?” Go head, take a guess. I’ll wait...*patiently hums Jeopardy theme*. It was, “Did you cook?” Thank the Goddess once again because I think if I would’ve said yes, they might have knocked me over. I was saved when my oldest sister opened her door. And they almost knocked her over getting through. These are not some small women. And they knew what was on the menu.

Once they got upstairs and got the Happy Thanksgiving out the way, they made a beeline to the kitchen for alcohol. My oldest sister always keeps tequila in the house because she likes drinking margaritas. There they stood, waiting for my sister to make her way to the kitchen. And there I stood, simply amazed that they could be so ghetto. Not just because of how they were acting but the way they were actually looking......like they just rolled out of bed literally. They looked like they belonged to Buckwheat’s family, not mine. I wanted to scream at the Goddess and ask for an exchange. Instead, I just sat back and waited to make my own margarita. It was only a little bit after eleven but it was the only way I was going to get through family get together. My oldest sister must’ve been on the same page because she made herself a drink and rolled a joint. We smoked it, that along with the margarita made me able to tolerate them.

My sister’s dinner was not ready yet, so we decided to take some pictures to send to our baby sister who lives in Florida. We haven’t seen her in years. Hell, I hadn’t seen her since she graduated from high school, that was almost ten years ago. It had been longer than that for my older sisters. I guess that was our brief moment of doing the “family” thing. Shortly after that, it was exit, stage left for them.

But there was an upside. The guy I have been seeing occasionally called and wanted to get together. The call was totally unexpected but it made my day to know he was thinking about me. Once there, we cuddled on the couch and watched football. My Cowboys won!!!!! It’s the little things that mean a lot.

One down.....One to go.....